Trigger warning – this story discusses severe depression, suicidal thoughts but also hope. “I just want to help as many people as I can. I know what it’s like, how isolating it can be, and I am determined to help others.” 16-year-old Kyle Jdali is keen to share his frightening experience of fighting severe depression and suicidal thoughts, to help others.
“I feel like I’ve had really bad insecurities all my life, then at the end of 2017, it came to a head, and I became really depressed. After months of silently suffering, finally in March ’18, I nervously opened up to my parents and was clinically diagnosed with severe depression.
“I started seeing a counsellor but it got worse before it got better, I became suicidal. In desperation, I was admitted twice to a psychiatric ward.
“Thankfully, a nurse who was caring for me, changed my life forever. He told me the responsibility was on me! That I, and only I, had to change my thoughts. That was the moment I realised I had to help myself and that no-one else could do it for me. That’s when I started fighting my negative thoughts, sending them away and I tried to focus on positive thoughts.
“I admit, it wasn’t easy, and it took a long time. In the process, I was admitted twice more, but finally, it got to the point where I was able to like myself and was no longer depressed or suicidal.
“I realised throughout the process that it was ok to fail, but it was imperative that I stuck with it and kept going.
“Eventually, I started to see small changes.
“I’d like to stress these points:
- as hard as it is, opening up and talking to someone is so, so important. Once you have done it, it is like a weight is lifted off your shoulders.
- Initially I was aware that I had to fight away the negative thoughts and then it became habit.
- I had to learn to be grateful for the little things, all things.
- I really want to get the message out there ‘you are not alone’.
- It sounds cliché but everything does get better, eventually.
- It was also really helpful to verbalise my internal thoughts through someone else.
“Mental Health, depression, suicide, all need to be talked about and the stigma removed. It could happen to anyone.
“To help others I’ve created an account at Instagram @beneficial_mindsets and youtube ‘Beneficial Mindsets’ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8_34FBdGsCjQx7kZ6u-4Lw We all have insecurities. I’ve been through rough times and I know what it’s like, how isolating it can be, but I want to help as many people as possible and if I can do that, I’ll be happy.
“I think it is really important to look beyond the past. There is no point regretting the past. The important thing is to look at the present and towards the future.
“I regularly go live on Instagram and have done over 100 times, to talk about mental health topics. I don’t plan these talks, it comes to me as I film and ends up, hopefully, interesting and helpful to others.
“I’m developing a passion for motivational speaking. I’ll be speaking at the Humans in Geelong Expo this year in October. I’m studying Year 12 and I’d love to combine my love of motivational speaking with being a psychiatric nurse.”
One day, Kyle might be that nurse that saves someone.
For those following ‘The Man Walk’, Kyle is the 16-year-old who went out of his way to join the walk, not long after it started. He also helped to get Chris Lytas to talk at his school @kardiniainternationalcollege
Together, we are stronger.
If you need to talk:
Lifeline: 131114 (24/7)
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Headspace 5222 6690
The Black Dog website have a ‘get help now’ tab (https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/getting-help/emergency) which lists emergency counselling services.
Story: Jacqui Bennett. Photo: supplied